Kill.. Kill.. Kill.. and Kill.. Kill more!..

Would it be good for me if I can kill everyone without a second thought?.. Actually.. I’m into Max Payne now.. the Max Payne game.. yes it’s old skool, but I just realized about the mod whom made it available by the hardcore fans through the Internet.. Good deed indeed..

And again.. the question being asked previously.. as in the game.. almost everything that move, can be shot.. everyone knows that.. but it would feel different if your mind is really into it.. might as well… you can imagine yourself killing everyone around you… shoot until the arm is separated from the body.. shoot until the head is flying across the room.. shoot until you can hear the sound like the cow being slaughtered during Raya Haji.. some gore there.. hence the realism..

Someone is trying to contact me the other day.. someone whom i have not spoken with for quite a while already.. am i avoiding that person?.. am i running away from her?… the fact that i still have the same feeling like the way i did before.. might be the reason why i am outcasting myself.. I wonder how it would be if i were to interact with her now..  uncertain about it.. the mission is unclear for the time being.. thus, the sceptism of me being a person like before will be on the highest bar.. I’m not like before, i think.. things are different now, i think so… and if the time comes.. so be it..

I have sensed a feeling which is similar to what i had few years back.. the feel of wrath.. the feel of agony.. the torturous feeling of disfiguring a human being.. the urgency to make people hurt.. the call to have a bloodbath.. all came back.. must refrain it before the mind got poisoned until the state where there is no turning back.. hmm.. I am getting farther from Him.. The big M is here.. need to regain myself.. so help me God…